[INTRO]: Hi there. You’re about to hear stories from people with lived experience of homelessness, housing insecurity and poverty. As these storytellers reveal, they never imagined that any of these terrible things would happen to them. But they do believe that it could happen to anyone, and that it is the responsibility of everyone to care for the people going through it. 

These stories reflect on experiencing a broken system. Although these struggles happened many years ago for some of them, their stories were ironically recorded during Australia’s cost-of-living crisis in 2023, when homelessness and poverty remain as relevant as ever for many modern families. Here, our storytellers share what they believe needs to change about that system. 

Funded by Anglicare WA and produced by Centre for Stories, these stories were recorded on Bindjareb Nyungar boodjar. We pay our respect to Nyungar Elders, and all Nyungar Elders from the beginning, who are the knowledge-keepers and custodians of this place.  

This is Bianca’s story. 

BIANCA: Yeah. Hey, my name’s B, also known as Little B. And this is my story. It all started at a young age, around five. I just always knew that I was off. Like I just felt like I was non-existent to my family because my brother had a disability and then there was my older sister. So, it wasn’t until, you know, when I got to a teenage year stage that I was acting out, by doing drugs, drinking, getting in trouble with the law, I thought I was just being rebellious, you know? But it wasn’t only until like two years ago, back in 2020 that I was diagnosed with ADHD, which is no surprise to me because it explained everything. My impulse, my suicidal ideation, just this impulse of adrenaline. And I just had no, no control, you know?  

In 2015, September 2015, just before I was found out I was pregnant with my son, I left my abusive ex. And I knew that if I didn’t leave that something would tremendously happen to me and my unborn baby. And I had no idea how, how I left. But I think it was just the power of my son and being pregnant and you know, it’s a very powerful gift to have. 

So, I left him, I quit drugs. So, after giving birth to my son, everything was going so smoothly. Like I had this little beautiful baby boy, bundle of joy, you know, and you know, countless nights of sleep. And there was also these happy moments. You know, I was able to sleep, eat, exercise, go to the gym three days a week, you know. But then it wasn’t until like 2018 that I got these court papers served on me that my ex hadn’t seen me or heard from me for four years. So all of a sudden he wanted to be a part of this kid’s life. And I was just like, no, this is just like another bloody nightmare. I was just trying to finally get on with my life. But how could I bond with my daughter as well at the same time when I’ve just overcome my drug addiction, overcome the fact that I wouldn’t think I would have to see my ex again, you know?  

So, every day for five years I was battling the family court, so I was battling the system, which is a bloody joke ‘cause it’s so flawed, it’s so broken. They don’t really help you. They just, they just do their job. They’re just in it for their job because they’re all about the big monies, you know? And we are just the lab monkeys being treated as lab rats, you know. They don’t really care about their advocacy or their clients’ stories or whatever. They’re just in it for themselves. So, it’s just everyday, five years, doesn’t matter where I went, what I did, go to the cops, didn’t matter, like made a statement, blah, blah, you know, he didn’t get charged or anything cause there wasn’t enough evidence. So, I’m just like five years, like, really, like I really, there was so many times in that five years where I just seen so many opportunities to go jump off a bridge or stab myself 9,000 times because I’ve just got sick of all this bloody pressure, trying to prove myself, trying to be an approval to everyone in my life like therapists, doctors, the school, you know, the family courts just to prove that I was the fit mum.  

So five years was just like, it just drained me. Like, but I still stood my ground. I never gave up. Like there was times where like, yeah, I just could easily wish be like, oh yeah, this would be so good to do it right now. But I know in my mind that if I went back to drugs or something that it wouldn’t made things better. Yeah, I probably would’ve lost anyway. I already thought I lost the case because he got, he was the abuser, the perpetrator and I’m the victim and he still got what he wanted anyway, to see his kid. So, you know, now that that’s all kind of come to an end, I still have to just, you know, I’m still like on edge from the trauma thinking okay, like, is there another motive? Is there another game that he is trying to play at? You know? So, all this time living in fear, like jumping on trains or like, you know, on public transport thinking like, or in familiar areas, is he around there, is he gonna come back for me again? You know, I’m just like, what I’m just trying to do now is just, just, you know, stand my ground and just say say my words, use my voice, you know, so I’m not like my only person on my battlefield sort of thing. So, and it’s important to know that for myself and others out there that we victims shouldn’t have to take our own life away just so the perpetrator can win his game. 

If I can like battle the system for five years, I could get through anything. I reckon it’s the whole society, the system and the economics that make people create the mental, not necessarily they have mental, it’s because of how they been brought up in the environment, you know? So, one thing that, you know I’m proud of, I think it’s just, well I guess mainly when my son was dying in hospital as a baby ‘cause he had meningitis. He was in hospital six weeks, and I had to face my ex and I was like, God, that was terrible. But one thing I just, I just kept going every single day from Kwinana to King Edwards. So that’s like traveling like hours on end. Like I’ll be there for eight hours a day and I just, just kept going because he needed some, well I didn’t want the nurse just to be there. I couldn’t go home and sleep and I was just like, no. I think one of the things I just did was overcome my addiction for my kids. Like I’m doing it for the kids, I don’t really do it for me. I don’t do shit for me. I just do it for the kids.  

I know one thing for sure though, that one approval that I don’t need from is from my kids because I’m their number one. There are days where it’s just hard being a single parent, but they know like, you know, staying off drugs and that is like the number one priority for me for them is because I’m their mum and I don’t want them to grow up with the life that I had, because I believe no kids should be abused physically and mentally, psychologically, sexually. Just to know that they’re safe and they’re gonna be growing up better than what I had growing up. So, thank you. 

OUTRO: Thank you for listening. This story collection was funded by Anglicare WA and produced by Centre for Stories. You can head to anglicarewa.org.au to learn more about their impact in driving positive change for those in need, as well as listen to the other stories in this collection. Centre for Stories is a not-for-profit organization with charitable status. Our team is small and nimble, and we love what we do. To help us to continue to support diverse storytellers, consider a small donation. You can donate at centreforstories.com. This podcast was produced by Luisa Mitchell, with story training from Sukhjit Khalsa, and sound engineering by Mason Vellios. Thank you.