CFS: Hi there. You’re about to hear stories from people with lived experience of homelessness and housing insecurity. As these storytellers reveal, they never imagined that any of these terrible things would happen to them. But they do believe that it could happen to anyone, and that it is the responsibility of everyone to care for the people going through it.

These stories reflect on experiencing a broken system. Although these struggles happened many years ago for some of them, their stories were ironically recorded during Australia’s ongoing cost-of-living crisis in 2024, when homelessness and poverty remain as relevant as ever for many modern families. Here, our storytellers share what they believe needs to change about that system.

Supported by Shelter WA, funded by the Sisters of St John of God and produced by Centre for Stories, these stories were recorded on Whadjuk Nyungar boodjar. We pay our respect to Nyungar Elders, and all Nyungar Elders from the beginning, who are the knowledge-keepers and custodians of this place.

A quick warning – our listeners are cautioned that this story may contain content that will be triggering for some, including substance use and mental illness. Please take care of yourself while listening and take a break if needed. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

This is Lana Moon’s story.

LM: Growing up, I was always told I had so much potential.

I come from a family of Hungarian immigrants who moved over here shortly before I was born pretty much, so I didn’t speak English until I started going to school. I went to pre-school when I was about two and a half, and within six months I was speaking fluently, Hungarian and English. And they figured out pretty early that I could read and do maths and all sorts of fun things. So, there was always talk about how I’m so bright and gifted and like, school was my favorite place to be because I got to just be a normal kid.

I didn’t have a particularly happy home life. There was lots of abuse and violence and all those fun things at home. So, being at school was kind of, yeah, just a place that I got to be a kid and try and pretend that I’m a normal person, I suppose, because I wasn’t allowed to talk with anybody about any of the stuff that went on at home.

So, that kind of carried on all the way through primary school and into high school and things. And when I got to high school, that’s when I started having more, I suppose, behavioural issues.

And I was very much an easy target, I suppose, ’cause I got put up a grade and I was a lot younger. I didn’t grow for quite a while and had a weird Hungarian name, so that didn’t really help my case.

But I remember in Year 8 when I was about 12 years old, I got invited to my first party out in Byford. I went along and that’s where I got introduced to the world of fun, known as alcohol.

And from that first drink I kind of had this feeling like, oh, this is what it’s like to just be a normal person and be able to talk to people and have fun and not be so anxious and not so in my head. And, you know, like I genuinely just felt like I’d found the solution to all my problems. And I basically fell, probably over the next couple years, quite heavily into, first alcohol and then other substances and all those other things and, yeah… once I started getting a lot more intense and got to the point of daily use and all that kind of stuff and started not going to school and being at parties and gigs and all that kind of stuff all the time, it was like, my mental health really started to suffer. My schooling suffered and my mental health started getting a lot worse.

They started putting me on medications and things and as soon as I started those, I became quite suicidal from the age of about 15, 16. Yeah, that was a very dark time and it kind of carried on for most of my life up until this point. And I suppose like it was just one thing after another and I don’t think I ever really got a break and the addiction side progressed as well, which led me into some very dangerous situations.

That just seemed like that was my lot in life. Like, I genuinely thought that after I got to a point where I was extremely depressed and I’d had mania, psychosis, all that kind of stuff, ’cause I’m also bipolar. Just the amount of times that I had to try and rebuild my life and try and find new friends and reconnect with family and all that kind of stuff, it just started to seem very pointless after a while. I couldn’t really see a way out. I genuinely thought that pretty much every year it was like, I’m not gonna make it through this year. I’m not gonna make it through this year. I’m not gonna make it through this year. And I lost, you know, like I lost sight of what it was to feel hope, that was something I genuinely lost for a long time.

Somewhere in my in my early-twenties I ended up in another psychotic episode and then I ended up on the street. And up until about four or five years ago, I was, yeah, kind of just not on this planet, just wandering around aimlessly basically, and not having any connection with reality. And I ended up getting scooped up off the street when I went to the hospital, ’cause I was collapsing a lot and I thought I had something wrong with me physically. And they were like, you’re fine physically… we’re gonna take you to the hospital now.

All throughout this period, even when I started getting into a shelter after the hospital and eventually finding semi-stable housing for a few years; about three-and-a-half years ago, I got to a point where I decided, you know, like, I really want to do something different, try and get clean. Basically, I tried to do it on my own. I ended up getting linked in with some counseling, like drug and alcohol counseling, but I still had that stubborn streak that, no, I can do it myself. You know, like I had that thing of the idea, that my willpower would be enough, even though my history told me very much the opposite. And I just kept on essentially bashing my head against that wall and just thinking I can do it. And then getting about two, three weeks and re-lapsing and doing that over and over again until about two years ago, I got to a point where… I think I hadn’t had counseling for about two or three months and I organized an appointment and stuff like that, and the first thing I said when I got on the phone with my counselor was: “Is rehab’s still an option?”

And that was I suppose like a massive turning point, that was like me admitting that I couldn’t do it on my own. Like I’d reached a point where I just realized I can’t, I can’t just pull myself outta this, you know, like… it’s beyond me, you know?

Essentially, I had to learn how to be a human again, ’cause the world is a lot different when you’re not masking all your emotions and insecurities and anxieties and all that kind of stuff with substance use, as I found out quite rudely.

I was very lucky in my early, about a month into it, I had my counselor, but I also had another support worker who, I remember one night I was like, basically having a full breakdown. I was like, I can’t do this. I don’t know how to be around people. I’m angry all the time and I’m sad and all this other stuff. And pretty much like, yeah, just bawling my eyes out. And this support worker kind of, essentially said to me, like, looked me dead in the eyes and just said, like, I believe that you can do it. I don’t remember his exact words, but he said like most of the people that come through here, or a lot of them, you know, they might not be able to go through the whole thing or come out the other side and be alright.

And he said like, I can see that you, you will, you know, that was… and that was I think like the first time in a very long time that someone had looked at me in the mess that I was and genuinely just seen that I still had something to offer, that I could still achieve something.

I just remembered that, if I don’t have faith in myself, I’ve got people that have faith in me. And the more I did the program and started, you know, kicking goals and moving further along, I started to build my own confidence in myself. I very much think that I would not have been able to do that if I didn’t have someone believe in me when I was still so vulnerable and so unsure of myself.

Yeah, I ended up staying for 11 months and graduating and getting into the housing that they offer. Finally, at the ripe old age of 29, I had my first stable home. And since then, it’s been about a year since I graduated and got the house.

Life has just been unfolding before me. I’m doing things with my lived experience and working in projects that give my life meaning and make me feel like I’m actually doing something worthwhile. And I’m not just making coffee and cooking food for everyone anymore. I’m actually doing real grown-up things.

And it just seems that once I stop trying to control and obsess over what direction my life is gonna take, it just seems to… the path that is before me just seems to open up and all of these opportunities fall into my lap and I just need to put a little bit of action in to pursue them. My life is just so much more full than it’s ever been, like in my entire life. I’ve got a really solid community in recovery and other friends and things like that that I’ve made over the last two or so years.

Yeah, I’m finally bit-by-bit starting to see I suppose what, what people always saw in me since I was a little kid. And, you know, like I still, I still get it from my mum all the time, you know, like… “It’s good that you’re doing this because you’ve got so much potential.” And it doesn’t make me wanna shrivel up in a ball anymore and run off into the sunset. It’s like, yeah. You know, like maybe I do, you know? I’m starting to do something that gives my life purpose.

I think everyone, it might not be just one thing, you know, like I do lots of things that give my life purpose, but I think everyone has it within themselves to find out who they are and do something, you know, that is in alignment with that, that gets them out of whatever situations they’ve been in, or helps them move on from troubled times in the past, and all that kind of stuff. Like, I’ve seen so many people through the time, especially that I’ve been in recovery, that come from all sorts of backgrounds… You know, gaols, institutions, all that kind of stuff, that have just thrived. And I’ve got such a faith in the human ability for people to grow, learn, and change.

And I genuinely think that that’s something that everyone has within them. And I can see that within myself now as well.

CFS: Thank you for listening. This story collection was supported by Shelter WA, funded by the Sisters of St John of God and produced by Centre for Stories. You can head to shelterwa.com to learn more about their impact in driving positive change for those in need, as well as listen to the other stories in this collection.

Centre for Stories is a not-for-profit organization with charitable status. Our team is small and nimble, and we love what we do. To help us to continue to support diverse storytellers, consider a small donation. You can donate at centreforstories.com.

This podcast was produced by Luisa Mitchell, with story training from Jay Anderson and Jasmyn Hutin, and sound engineering by Mason Vellios. Thank you.